Sunday, July 18, 2010

Day 92 - Debate over Traditions

So, I caught the bouquet last night. It hit me like a bullet in the chest and apparently, my shocked expression was priceless.

I'm not really into wedding hoopla, so I was quite happy to continue a conversation on the sideline and watch 'all the single ladies' fight over the bridal bouquet. But when the announcement for the toss came, the groom saw me and ushered me into the mosh pit of anticipation. I purposefully stood in the back and wasn't paying attention when the cluster of white roses somehow plowed its way through the five or six bouncing women in front of me and literally landed in my lap. Craig, who is way more traditional than I am, thought this was 'great' and hasn't stopped teasing me about it.

I like weddings. People are always happy and it's nice to have a gathering to celebrate love. Our friends, Noah and Sarah, were beaming last night, which was wonderful to witness. The food was delicious and atmosphere was joyful.

I'm still curious though why weddings are orchestrated in a certain way, because at times it seems like certain traditions are a little mechanical or forced. I often wonder what makes people want to follow traditions in general, and why they are considered so important. Is it for fun? is it for sense of belonging? or is it for other people?

Craig and I debated this a bit on the drive home from Stanstead. He's thinks traditions are good; I'm think they are confusing. I'm not against them, but it's the "because that's the way it is" stuff that I can't wrap my head around. I challenged Craig on all kinds of social conventions that don't make sense to me like wearing black at a funeral, eating turkey on Thanksgiving, tossing the bouquet and garter at a wedding, among others. He had some good points, like traditions give you something to look forward to, they are symbolic, and they create community.

In the end, we both agreed that it's up to us individuals to contemplate and reinterpret traditions so that they are meaningful to us and let go of the rest.

I'm curious. What are your thoughts on this?

* * *

As for my practice today, I did 54 sun sals before breakfast next to the river behind our B&B. It was heavenly. The birds, the wind in the trees, along with some swaying chimes created a magical symphony. I wanted to do the whole 108 this morning, but I had to cut it short because of timing. So, I'm home now and I'll be getting to the second half in a moment.


  1. Personally, I think tradition may give you something to look foward to as Craig says but you have to be carefull to respect yourself in following them... so it has to be your tradtion... not someone else's...for example, with my son's dad, I did not wanted to get married because I was not ready to make a life long commitment to that guy even thus I was with him for 11 years... and we had a lovely son! however, with Real, six months into our relationship we were engaged... but we had a very small wedding in a restaurant, no throwing the bouquet, no cake... only 25 guests... it was how WE wanted to do it... even thus not all agreed on the way we did it...
    as for wearing black at a funeral, I never do it... not all black anyway... always try to have a dash of color that reminds me of the person that we are there for... this is my tradition...

  2. As for the bullet/bouquet you got in the chest, You were stoked that you got it. No you'll never say other wise but I can tell by the way the side of you mouth curls up into a little hidden smile. That's okay, I wont tell anyone (else). Traditions are symbols and I agree that you should do them for yourself and not just because, but people have to look back to the origins of where they came from. Black at funerals is to show that you are morning a loss, turkeys are a North American idea because the first Europeans did didn't have them to eat and with just one, bang the whole family is eating. Traditions are for celebrating the past but are also for starting anew and having something that is for just you and your loved ones to look forward to in the future.
    I don't know the older i get the more old school I am. to each there own.

  3. LOL still fighting, huh Craig? :)