Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Day 4: Feeling sore & cranky

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it... I'm not sure if I'm allowed to complain, since it's only day 4, but my left shoulder is killing me, I'm tired and frustrated that I can't get the scanner at the studio to work. Plus, it's 10 pm (EST) and I'm still at my studio, 30 km away from home. I taught four classes back to back and wanted to scan an image for a poster before leaving, but the stupid scanner is not registering on my Mac. I suppose I'm also grumpy because I haven't eaten since 2pm, so I think I'll put make some toast.

Today, it really dawned on me how much time this 108 challenge takes up. It's not just the practice itself, it's also the documenting of it, which is important to me. This process requires an extra one to two hours each day, in addition to the time I spend practicing. In my previous consecutive days of 108 which I did as training, I don't remember being so frazzled, but then again, I wasn't writing, photographing or planning any events related to it.

And now my shoulder! It started acting up sometime this evening, but it's never bothered me before like this. Even now as I sit, it is hurting through the bicep down to my elbow. Hopefully it will be better tomorrow, because right now, I'm not sure how I'm going to finish my last 18 of the day. I'll have to modify.

I think I've been psyching myself out this week. Maybe I'm over excited about this project and so I keep thinking things like, "What if I hurt myself and can't complete my sun salutations one day? Does that mean I fail? What if I break my leg? What if I get sick? What if I get too tired and can't teach properly?"

My mind has been spinning and spinning over these "what if" questions. I think might be rushing through some of my sets in order to 'get them all in' before midnight. And of course, in rushing, I'm more careless of my alignment and so I'm more likely to say, drop my shoulders below my elbows in chaturanga or my head below my shoulders in down dog.

My intention was to work through this project one breath at a time, one sun salutation at time, but recently, I've been overcome by the shear magnitude of what I've taken on and the responsibility to do it publicly. I know I need to chill a little, sleep a little and eat a little more. The obvious way to do this is too reduce the number of classes I'm teaching and the number of hours I'm spending doing other adminy stuff, but at the moment, I struggle to see how I can do this. I'm the sole proprietor of a yoga studio, studying at the ayurveda centre, and my bread and butter is teaching about 15 to 20 classes a week.

Ok, enough complaining. I apologize for my rant, but I can't pretend that all this is easy. (I feel a bit better now that I got some of these worries out and had some food.

I'll find the right flow and the right way to integrate this 108 into my already busy schedule, maybe with your help. After all, hearing that some of my students have set their own goals and participate in this challenge with me makes my heart soar. Today my student Yves, who is featured in the video we took this afternoon (pre-cranky, achy Yasmin), said his goal is to do a minimum of 108 sun sals a week for the duration of my campaign. Isn't that awesome? That's the stuff that encourages me, so please share your ideas.

Today's Surya Namaskar Recipe is The Cobra Push-up Salute. It's here on video, shot by Valerie Baron and starring Yves!

(Valerie is photographer and does some of the admin at the studio. This is her first debut as a videographer, so she wanted me to add a disclaimer. 'wink')

PS Check my shoulder alignment in today's photo: there's proof that I was carelessly dipping my shoulders too low and thus putting a lot of pressure on my shoulder socket! (When lowering into chaturanga, we're supposed to make sure the shoulder stays above the elbow, so not to overload thejoint.)

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