Embracing Change

I have a big announcement... I sold my yoga studio.

It seems strange to see those words and even stranger to say them out loud. But it's true. After being the sole proprietor of Om West Holistic Centre for five years, I am choosing a new path. This is no doubt a huge change for me and it was a difficult decision. I have spent 17 years at this yoga centre.

My yoga life began in the dimly lit, carpeted studio at 46 Ste Anne Street in Pointe Claire Village, which is about 25km west of downtown Montreal. It was circa 1996 and no one cool had ever tried yoga expect maybe the Beatles 30 years prior. I'm an awkward teenager working part-time for Gigi, the owner of said yoga studio. With her encouragement/enforcement, my friend and I start practicing Ashtanga yoga with Mark Darby, who is fresh from India and impatient with awkward teenagers. (By the way, Darby is now a renown world-traveling yoga teacher, but he had his Western debut at Gigi's humble little studio, as did several other yoga masters.) For some reason, I stick with ashtanga yoga, although I distinctly remember not having much affinity towards it back then. 

A few years later, at age 18 or 19, I end up on a deserted island in British Colombia learning yoga from Claire, a spirited 24-year-old who had taught yoga in Costa Rica. I'm mesmerized by her soulful beauty and I wanted to be like her, so because of her prompting, I started teaching yoga to kids. The summer ends and I'm back in Pointe Claire. Gigi puts me in charge of the kids yoga program at her Centre. I have no idea what I'm doing, but I borrow a book from the library and I make it up as I go along. (Admittedly, making things up as I go is a tactic I continue to rely on to this day!)

Two years later and I'm in Australia for a year. I'm at RMIT university. I am teaching adult yoga, and I attempt to record my first yoga cd (alone in a basement radio booth). It's January 2003 and I'm back again at the Centre in Pointe Claire Village. Gigi convinces me to stay in Montreal and manage her centre. Good call, because in the year I was Down Under, North Americans go crazy for yoga. My evening classes quickly overflow. Pretty soon and I'm all over the place teaching 6000 classes a week and I LOVE IT, but I don't really have much formal training. So after briefly flirting with the idea of moving to Norway, I commit to living in Montreal for another year, and register for Mark Darby and Hart Lazer's 200 hour yoga teacher training. It's there I meet my best yogi friends Mark Laham and Jamie Lee. I'm extremely tempted to follow Mark's path of nomade yoga teacher, but when Jamie decides to buy Yoga Source, a studio in the South Shore, getting a studio of my own seems like a good idea. In 2005, Gigi offers to sell me her studio. I say, no. When she asks again in 2006, I say, yes, and acquire a bank loan.


I discover that owning a studio is a lot more complex than managing one part-time. Argumentative staff, a dissatisfied client, and big bills, there are moments I am sick with anxiety and stress. Someone says, "Why don't you try some yoga? Ha Ha," and I want to kill him or her. However, I then find Marianne, a wonderful mothery manager, who helps me get organized. A few years go by. The studio grows, and my responsibilities continue to increase. I'm overwhelmed and I really can't think straight. I need guidance. 

I find Lisa Lajoie, a spiritual mastermind, and she and I become pals. "I'm not sure if I want all these responsibilities, and I'm not sure I'm meant to be a yoga teacher. Sometimes, I feel like I poser..." I rhapsodize. Lisa and I talk a lot. But I still I don't know what to do. I pray for inspiration. I meditate. I write. I decide to embark on an inner pilgrimage, a mala of 108 practices. On April 15, Lisa suggests I start on the 108th day of the year, which is three days later. I protest I'm not prepared, but she shoots me her 'Don't mess with me' look, so I go home and freak out all night. Nevertheless, on the morning of April 18, 2010, I start my journey of 108 daily sun salutations in company of my friend Ron Cherilus and some of the students of Om West. 


Of course, what transpires next, are the 108 days of surya namasker that are already outlined in the pages of this blog. During this time, it becomes increasingly oblivious to me that I no longer want to run a yoga centre. But I feel like a mother afraid to admit she is too young to raise a child, so I keep my mouth shut, and force my way through hours of tedious administrative tasks. The 108 days end with a 32 hour consecutive yoga marathon at Om West. It's the most amazing experience of my life. I am doing my favourite thing in the world, I'm in my studio, and I'm surrounded by my favourite people. I am so in love with each moment. I don't want to let it go. 


Marianne and I part ways in the fall and Tasreen joins me as studio manager. Working with Tas is great. Along with my new business advisor, Blair, we implement procedures and systems. I'm learning a lot about business, and the studio is becoming busier. Sales are going up, but I still feel burdened with decisions and tasks. By Christmas, it's clear I need a radical change. At first, I think getting a partner would be helpful, and I toy with this concept for a few months. Unfortunately, a good partnership candidate fails to appear, so I start exploring other options. I sign-on, then quickly sign-off with a business broker. He doesn't understand the needs of the studio, and I'm determined to find someone who will care, really care about the well being of my Centre and the students who come there. My goal is to find new owners before I turn 30. I don't know the first thing about selling a business. With no broker and no leads, I worry, then I pray and meditate. 


What follows is rather serendipitous. One quiet Friday afternoon in May, I get a Marma Point Massage from Antoine. Afterward, we sit and have tea. He tells me how much he and his wife, Pamela, love Om West, and he says that if I ever consider selling it, to tell him first as they would be very interested. From there, we meet and exchange non-disclosure agreements. I spend the summer organizing more paperwork that I have in my entire five years of business ownership. But then things fall into place, and here I am. Pamela and Anotine will officially take my place as owners Jan. 1, 2012, and I will stay on to teach a few regular classes at Om West.

I have to say, it feels good to share this story. I am grateful beyond words to my parents, my boyfriend Craig, my teachers, my advisors, who have been there for me every step of the way. I have learned so much and grown so much. I feel I understand business now and I want to help other yogi entrepreneurs. I am a little nervous, but also excited, about what lies ahead.


I'm turning 30 in about two and half weeks, and apart from celebrating with family and friends, all I want is a skeleton. So if you happen to know where I can get one, or if you happen to have a spare, can you let me know? 


Thanks. 

Day 27: alignment vs flow

Today marks the midpoint of my 54 day moon salutation project. It's definitely a lot more relaxed than last year's 108 sun salutations for 108 days. Obviously, this 54 lunar flow practice is a lot shorter than the 108 surya namaskar practice and the fact that I'm not blogging everyday about the practice makes the whole thing seem a lot less intense. I'm certainly not analyzing the process as much. Well, at least not outwardly.

But this practice still has it's challenges. It can be very difficult to find motivation to roll out the mat and do a personal practice, especially after teaching and demonstrating asana all day. However, that is honestly the best time for me to practice. Often when I'm tired, sore and don't feel like practicing, I end up surrendering my calculating mind to the flow of postures and let postures unfold organically. I stop trying to do things "properly" and I just let go. Sure, my alignment gets a little sloppy, but I've decided that too much alignment blah, blah can be tedious and sometimes even counterproductive.  Western yogis (myself included) have become super alignment obsessed, and although I agree, it's important to make sure the joints are in the right place to avoid injury, I also believe that if we focus too much on that stuff, we can missed the point of the practice. We can over think the pose and under experience the moment.

This weekend, I taught a 16 hour workshop called "Essentials of Modern Ashtanga Yoga." The course was about how to adapt the traditional ashtanga primary and second series to modern urban lifestyles. Now, I'm an ashtangi by yogic birth-- my first teacher at age 14 was the then very strict Mark Darby, the first officially certified ashtanga teacher in Canada-- but I've since dabbled in various other yoga styles and even did a teacher training with a senior Iyengar instructor. So suffice it to say, I feel fairly confident in my alignment techniques and I usually inflict these principles on unsuspecting type-A, ashtanga students, who often prefer to plow through the sequence then listen to instructions about sustainable postures and foundational stability.

Nevertheless, I had an 'ah ha' moment this weekend. I elected to play Sharath's led primary series on CD for the students to practice. (Sharath is the grandson of Asthanga guru Pattabhi Jois.) Sharath's teaching pace is much faster than mine because he offers no instructional details. He just says the name of the pose and then counts the breaths. There are no alignment cues whatsoever. Normally, this would concern me, but I was right there to adjust when needed and I knew it was important to give the students the chance to just move with the postures and breath. Although their postures weren't super calibrated, the energy in the practice room was a bit different. It was concentrated, excited and simultaneously, peaceful and quiet.

Is that not what we ultimately search for?

Perhaps alignment techniques are those things that train us to focus at first. They help us learn about ourselves, but after a while, it's time to let go of all that instruction (inward and outward) and allow the yoga to happen to us, one beautifully messy posture at a time.

After all, yoga isn't all about making perfectly aligned asanas of ourselves. There are seven other equally important branches of the eight-limbed Ashtanga yoga tree. (More on that later.) Above is an artwork by Bruce Chase-Dunn, my teacher trainee, of the eight limbs of the ashtanga (meaning 'eight limbs') yoga system. Note that there is no hierarchy to the limbs. Everything can be experienced all at the same time.


Here's a link to an interesting interview with Sharath: Click here

I like what Sharath said when asked what consititutes a good yoga student:

"Students who understand yoga, that is very important. Their body might be very flexible, they can perform all the asanas but they are not able to understand what is yoga. The student who understands what it is, who understands what is parampara, the lineage, that is very important. Lineage, and who are able to understand what is yamas and niyamas and try to perform them in their daily life - I think that is a good student. Many people they don’t understand what is yama, niyama, ahimsa, satya, asteya, brahmacharya, aparigraha. Not all yoga practitioners, asana practitioners I should say, are able to perform these or to understand what these are."

Back to the Future of Yoga

Recently, I spent four weeks being my own receptionist while in between studio managers at Om West, my Pointe Claire yoga centre. I noticed within the first week of answering calls and emails that most people wanted the same thing: A course for beginners that would make them feel comfortable and where they would learn how to practice yoga safely without feeling silly.

So, I started teaching a new course this week: Yoga Basics for Beginners! It's a four week program designed to introduce new students to the fundamentals of the yoga practice. This is something I've wanted to do for a long time, but didn't get around to organizing it until now.

It's great. I have more than a dozen people registered in my Tuesday class and about the same in my Saturday class! Their enthusiasm and keen interest in learning about the practice has totally re-invigorated my teaching.

Having spent so many years leading people through intermediate and advanced practices, posture to posture, I realized I really missed teaching yoga 101. So, this Yoga Basics program is awesome for me as an instructor and great for my studio. After all, there more people out there who don't do yoga then there are avid practitioners. I hope to make this an ongoing thing at Om West.

Here's an excerpt from my handout "Young Yogi here some things you need to know…"

1. There is no right or wrong way to do yoga & anyone can do yoga-- Yoga is an art, a healing science, a lifestyle and mindset and ANYONE can do yoga, regardless of age and ability. The great yoga master, TKV Desikachar, wrote in The Heart of Yoga: “The starting point is never the teacher’s needs but those of the student. This requires many different approaches; there is not just one approach for everybody (…) It is not that the person needs to accommodate him- or herself to yoga, but rather the yoga practice must be tailored to fit each person.”
2. Practice on an empty stomach-- Meals should be taken at least 90 mins prior to practice, so you digest fully and avoid eating heavy food. A small snack before practice is ok, especially for diabetics, hypoglycemics or pregnant women.
3. “Don’t make and Asana of yourself," (David Swenson, Ashtanga Yoga Master)-- The original intent of the yoga practice has little to do with yoga postures (‘asana’). Yoga postures are meant to build strength, stamina and increase flexibility so that the practitioner can maintain a steady pose for long periods of time without discomfort. So as senior yogi Hart Lazar says: “Let go of competition, especially with yourself at a younger age!”
4. Breathe-- The breath is key. It's the life of the pose! In yoga, we breathe in & out through the nose during regular asana practice. My basic rule: if you can’t breathe in a pose, you are in too deep!
   
5. Seek stability before flexibility-- Be sure that you are stable & grounded in a pose before seeking depth or a greater “stretch”. You don’t build a house without a solid foundation, so think of your postures in the same way.
6. When not to go upside down-- Inverted postures, like shoulderstand, are not recommended during menstruation as there is a natural downward flow of energy during this time and reversing this flow can disrupt the cycle. (It can also cause a flood!)
7. Keep the potpourri out of the studio-- Refrain from wearing perfume, cologne or essential oils when practicing with a group, because these smells get stronger the more you sweat and this can be distracting, not only for you, but also for everyone around you.
   
8. About chanting-- Most classes begin and/or finish with OM chanting. “OM” isn’t a word. It’s a vibrational sound that helps release tension from the body and helps to connect to the breath and the body. Ashtanga classes traditionally start with an invocation in Sanskrit which pays tribute to the lineage of teachers past & present. Other yoga styles may also chant as part of the practice.
   
9. What’s “Namaste”?-- Most yoga classes finish with a gesture and the saying “Namaste.” In Sanskrit this means: “I honor the divine spirit within you and recognize that this is the same spirit that is in me."
10. Better out that in-- It’s possible to feel a little sensitive or emotional after your practice. This is normal, as yoga and meditation dislodge deep tensions from the mind and body. Clear the residual tension by resting, drinking a soothing tea/water, eating good food and practicing again tomorrow!

However, most importantly, find what’s right for you. Have fun and enjoy your practice. There are many different types of yoga and many different teachers. It’s important to discover what and who resonates with you, and this may change over time. In fact here some web directories to help you find yoga classes near you:

www.yogamontreal.com
www.yogadirectorycanada.com
www.yogafinder.com

Day 11 - Maybe Hell froze over, making it snow and allowing the Habs to win

The Montreal Canadians beat 2-1 Washington in game seven. Can you believe it? This city is going bonkers. I didn't see the game, as I was teaching, but Craig sent me the score half way through class and then as soon as my students began rolling up their mats, the bar down the street erupted in cheers and whistles. Cars were honking. That's when I knew Craig wouldn't be shaving his playoff beard tonight as promised.

Good for them. Despite a crappy season, this shows they still have a little fight left in them.

I'm not going to pretend I'm a super knowledgeable hockey fan, but with living in Montreal, I can't help but get sucked into the hype during the playoffs, especially when it's this exciting. Craig says that those in the know explain that the snow yesterday proved Hell really did freeze over so that our eighth place team was able to beat the best team in the league.

I love this city. We are so temperamental. There is no room for middle ground. Example: either the Montreal Canadians are worshiped or spat on, and we are addicted to this roller coaster of emotion. Our fiery culture is undoubtedly connected to our Francophone roots. I may be Anglo, but I enjoy speaking French and English simultaneously and I am a true Quebecer, born and raised. I really appreciate the French Canadian flavour of my native land. I think it make us super unique.

This evening my class was split: four Francos and four Anglos, so I flip-flopped from English to French, and as I was teaching, I thought how cool it is to be able to communicate in two languages. I admit, I am more comfortable speaking English, but I have great pleasure speaking French. Plus, I find that their are many perfect words in French that don't translate in English and vice versa.

Unfortunately, I don't write as well in French as in English. But tonight, my friends, our Surya Namaskar video it is narrated EN FRANÇAIS PAR MOI and features my student and in-studio translator, Nathalie. (Nathalie's husband, Real, is the cameraman.)

Sun Salutation Recipe: Day 11 - Ashtanga Yoga Surya Namaskar A

Oh and FYI, I finished sun salutation number 108 three minutes before midnight. I waited until I got home from the studio to do the last 24, because Brendan, who is still in town, said he wanted to accompany me. But alas, Brendan was in engrossed in computer work when I walked in and declined the practice, pointing out that the last time he did yoga it snowed a day later... Nevertheless, I completed my set, moaning and groaning, in the kitchen.


PS... I think it's important to point out the ecological progress when we see it, so here's a photo I took in the Ikea parking lot this morning.

Day 10 - From Spring to Winter, what a difference a day makes...

Poor Mother Nature. She's been so abused and we've driven her mad. Yesterday, I was rejoicing the coming of spring and today, we, Montrealers woke up to a full on snow storm that lasted all day. It's now about 6:30 pm and the ground is covered with wet, slushy snow. I guess this means all those beautiful flowers I photographed yesterday will die. What a shame.

In concert with the weather, I'm feeling cold, tired and a little all over the place. I had an exam this morning in my Ayurveda course, which I could have been better prepared for, and my guts have been feeling uneasy since last night. But, much to my lethargy, I invented a new tummy taming smoothie this morning (I'll post the recipe next) and managed to do 96 sun salutations upon returning home from school.

I find on days like today, the hardest part is starting the practice and figuring out what to do, but once I find my flow, everything is good. After dragging myself through the first 36, I decided to do the whole Ashtanga standing series within the surya namaskar sequence, which allowed me to ground myself and focus. I finished with headstand, shoulderstand and backbends, and a much needed savasana relaxation, which I felt I could have enjoyed for 108 days, maybe years. In fact, perhaps after 108 days of sun salutations, I will need 108 days of savasana... I digress. I have 12 left and I'm saving them for after dinner, not because I'm lazy, but because I find they help me digest.

Despite my current state of fatigue, I am pleased that this 108 project is gathering momentum and I feel happy. Tonight, for the first time in a while, I'm staying home to relax and enjoy some one on one time with Craig. We're going to have vegetable soup and authentic perogies from the Polish bakery on St Viateur. We may even watch a movie and be in bed before midnight. This may not seem too exciting, but believe me, right now, I couldn't have better plans.

Today's Surya Namaskar Recipe is generally practiced after the sivananda salutation as a pre-cursor to the Ashtanga Sun Salutation A.

The Lunge Salute
1- Start in Tadasana, the mountain pose.
2- Press down through your legs, INHALE, raise your arms overhead and look up at thumbs. Shoulders down, long neck.
3- Pause. Feel a dynamic pull between the earth and the sky.
4- Then, without locking the knees, EXHALE, fold up, over your stable legs into Uttanasana, standing forward bend.
5- INHALE, come up halfway and lengthen the spine.
6- EXHALE, bend the knees and step the LEFT leg back into a straight leg lunge.
7- Hold the pose for three breaths
8- Details of the pose: Finger tips can rest on the floor or onto blocks, or hands can rest on the front thigh. Centre the LEFT knee directly over the ankle. Extend from the heel to the crown of the head.
9- After three to five breaths, EXHALE, hands to the ground.
10- Step the LEFT leg back into plank pose for a couple of breaths. Support your lower back, by lifting the lower belly in and up toward the kidneys, located in your mid-back.
11- EXHALE, bring the knees to the floor and slowly, pulling the elbows into the ribs, lower the torso to the floor. This movement is called Chatarunga Dandasana or four limbed staff pose.
12- INHALE, sphinx, cobra pose or upward dog. Legs reach back, open the heart and gaze forwards with a long neck.
13- After one or two breaths, EXHALE, slowly tuck the toes under and transition back into downdog.
14- INHALE lengthen your spine from the crown of the head to your tailbone.
15- EXHALE, lower your knees to the floor.
16- INHALE, step your LEFT foot forward between the hands.
17- EXHALE, tuck the RIGHT toes under and straighten the back leg.
18- INHALE come up onto the fingertips and evenly extend the neck.
19- Hold the lunge for a couple of breaths, then EXHALE, hands to the floor.
20- INHALE, take a giant step forward and lengthen the spine.
21- EXHALE, fold over stable legs.
22- Keeping a small bend in the knees, INHALE rise up to standing and stretch the arms overhead.
23- EXHALE, lower hands down the centre of your body.

*NOTE: When I do this sequence in the 108 practice, I break it in two separate sun salutations: Right foot forward first, then step forward from downward dog to the top of the mat, and the second time with left foot forward.