re-Emerging

Hello my friends,

It's been so long since I've written and yet, so much has happened. In the past month, my studio manager quit/retired, I taught at the Vancouver Yoga Show and I hosted a major fundraiser for the Stephen Lewis Foundation. It goes without saying, but I've been busy.

I was also been feeling a little down. Maybe it was the work load and the deep fatigue. But I think mainly it was the feeling of not being totally integrated.

In the last few months post 108x108/Guinness, I have been trying to establish a new rhythm for my life and honestly, it's been a challenge. My work is piled high and I'm still adapting what happened to me in during those 108 days. "How have I changed?" and "What's next?" are questions that continue to circulate in my mind.

I am aware that I have changed, but am unsure how to express it, which is probably why I haven't been writing.

People are really curious about how I felt physically after doing 32 hours of yoga. I suppose many think that's it's the body that undergoes the most strain during a marathon, but I would tend to disagree. Physically, I recovered rather quickly. (In fact, I was honestly more sore the day after a 45 minute run up Mont Royal than I was after the Guinness challenge.) But there was so much more mental, emotional and spiritual energy that propelled me through 108 days of sun salutations and 32 hours of continuous practice. And it's in this space, I am still recovering and trying to find my place.

I have made some headway. My meditation practice feels richer. I'm increasingly conscious of how I am feeling emotionally moment to moment, and so my gut instincts appear sharper. This is allowing me to make better decisions and is helping me overcome my fear of confrontation. I am no longer waiting to address situations that tend to upset me, and so, as result, I am feeling less burdened by heavy emotions.

This said, I am still doing a lot of inner clearing, and I need time and space to do this. So, fortunately or unfortunately, I have to let go of a few things. This includes our annual Eco-Fair, which will have to be put off until next or maybe the spring. I just don't have it in me to organize another big event before the holidays.

I am grateful for the support of my family and friends during this process and very excited to start working with my new studio manager, whom I just hired.

I have to share this very sweet note my dad sent me this morning from Turkey (my parents are on a one month post-retirement honey moon tour of Turkey):

Dear Yas,
I just thought it was time for me to remind you how much I love you and admire you for what you are doing and trying to do. Don't give up on your dream and be afraid to take chances. I know it is hard but you will succeed. I send you light and love,
Dad
PS Keep believing in your self

A photo of my mom & I at DARE 10.10.10., the Stephen Lewis Foundation fundraiser I co-organized with Ron Cherilus on Oct 10. We raised $5956!

Day 105 - final prep

Wow, I don't really know where to begin to describe how I'm feeling. Generally, I feel relaxed and ready for the challenge ahead, but undoubtedly, I'm also a little nervous. I couldn't fall asleep last, although I think it had more to do with the noisy neighbours having a dinner party then nerves.

I spent the day planning out my practices in blocks of four hours. I'm not quite done yet, but I'm enjoying the process of visualizing the practice and thinking about which poses I will do when and where. I am going into greater detail than I initially planned because I found yesterday morning that the Guinness World Records actually requires me to count and document all the poses I do, which I didn't realize before. I think it's better I plan this out ahead of time. So, I need a bit more organization, but I think that's a good thing. Plus, when I get tired, I may loose creativity and will need some guidance.

I've been listing all the variations of the poses I wish to do (and trying out a bunch), because each variation counts as a unique pose. This is lots of fun. It's allowing me to stroll down memory lane and dig up ideas from all the workshops I've been to and all the teachers I've studied with from myriad traditions from Anusara to Bikram. I'm also using the Dharma Mittra and Yoga Journal websites for a little inspiration. I even spoke to Leigh at Sea of Tranquility bookstore and I'm going pick up DM's famous poster of 908 asanas from Leigh's store tomorrow so I can hang it in the studio for motivation during my 32 hour practice. Leigh is also lending me a large Nataraj (statue of Shiva) to put in the studio.

So, everything is under control. I know what I'm going to eat-- Vega smoothies, Vega bars, avocados, bananas, dates, maybe even oatmeal raisin cookies. I know what I'm going to wear-- lululemon offered me a couple of tank tops and I'll wear my favourite pants. I know whose going to be there-- as of Thursday evening, we filled our volunteer schedule thanks to Frances! I know friends, family and students are going to be there through out the practice to cheer me on. And in my heart, I know this is a beautiful transformational experience and one I am meant to go through.

(Thanks to Craig for sharing his perspective of these 108 days yesterday.
He's my rock, you know.)

* Want to sponsor my 32 hour yoga marathon and Guinness World Record setting attempt? Donations for the Stephen Lewis Foundation can be made in person at Om West on Aug 2 & 3 or online anytime until Dec 1:

http://stephenlewisfoundation.akaraisin.com/p/yasminyoga.aspx