Thursday, October 28, 2010

re-Emerging

Hello my friends,

It's been so long since I've written and yet, so much has happened. In the past month, my studio manager quit/retired, I taught at the Vancouver Yoga Show and I hosted a major fundraiser for the Stephen Lewis Foundation. It goes without saying, but I've been busy.

I was also been feeling a little down. Maybe it was the work load and the deep fatigue. But I think mainly it was the feeling of not being totally integrated.

In the last few months post 108x108/Guinness, I have been trying to establish a new rhythm for my life and honestly, it's been a challenge. My work is piled high and I'm still adapting what happened to me in during those 108 days. "How have I changed?" and "What's next?" are questions that continue to circulate in my mind.

I am aware that I have changed, but am unsure how to express it, which is probably why I haven't been writing.

People are really curious about how I felt physically after doing 32 hours of yoga. I suppose many think that's it's the body that undergoes the most strain during a marathon, but I would tend to disagree. Physically, I recovered rather quickly. (In fact, I was honestly more sore the day after a 45 minute run up Mont Royal than I was after the Guinness challenge.) But there was so much more mental, emotional and spiritual energy that propelled me through 108 days of sun salutations and 32 hours of continuous practice. And it's in this space, I am still recovering and trying to find my place.

I have made some headway. My meditation practice feels richer. I'm increasingly conscious of how I am feeling emotionally moment to moment, and so my gut instincts appear sharper. This is allowing me to make better decisions and is helping me overcome my fear of confrontation. I am no longer waiting to address situations that tend to upset me, and so, as result, I am feeling less burdened by heavy emotions.

This said, I am still doing a lot of inner clearing, and I need time and space to do this. So, fortunately or unfortunately, I have to let go of a few things. This includes our annual Eco-Fair, which will have to be put off until next or maybe the spring. I just don't have it in me to organize another big event before the holidays.

I am grateful for the support of my family and friends during this process and very excited to start working with my new studio manager, whom I just hired.

I have to share this very sweet note my dad sent me this morning from Turkey (my parents are on a one month post-retirement honey moon tour of Turkey):

Dear Yas,
I just thought it was time for me to remind you how much I love you and admire you for what you are doing and trying to do. Don't give up on your dream and be afraid to take chances. I know it is hard but you will succeed. I send you light and love,
Dad
PS Keep believing in your self


A photo of my mom & I at DARE 10.10.10., the Stephen Lewis Foundation fundraiser I co-organized with Ron Cherilus on Oct 10. We raised $5956!






3 comments:

  1. Yasmin, don't worry... everything will work out just fine in the end.... of course you may be confused now and of course this experiment changed you forever... but only for the better... take your time.... nobody who truly loves you is expecting anything but your presence anyway...
    take care!
    nath
    xxx

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  2. yeah!! it was so great to see a new post. your blog is so inspiring for me. i keep it up at work as a little motivation to hop on my mat when i get home instead of hopping into bed for a nap. please keep updating when ever you find a spare moment. thanks and keep up the awesome work!!

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  3. :) I'm very happy to see you re-emerge! Hope that I can make it to a Thursday night city class soon!!

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